Friday, January 23, 2009

From chocolates to boiled lollies

We are encouraged to ask women about their intentions re contraception prior to discharge from hospital.

One of the consultants stood at the desk and urged us all, loudly, to keep it up because we see some pretty sick women (well, we do) who are not doing their bodies any favours by imposing a pregnancy upon it. Parturient autonomy anyone?

On that topic, I had one such woman in my care on the postnatal ward the day after my dreamy day on LBS. She was 30 and had just had a premie baby, her first. She had a number of underlying conditions and I was having the talk with her about her contraception plans.

I won't be needing any.

Are you sure? Unplanned randomness can happen you know.

I'm seeing a woman, so it won't be a problem.

Oh, I see. Fair enough. Were you seeing a fella for a while to get your baby or did you make other arrangments to conceive?

Whaddya mean? (frowning)

Well, women with female partners sometimes arrange for a friend to be a semen donor and they turkey baste to get a baby, or they will have a short term arrangement in order to conceive. You did say you were seeing a woman didn't you? That you have a female partner?

I said I'm a single woman. A S-I-N-G-L-E woman. That's why I won't be needing anything. And I don't like no oysters! Geez!

D'OH!

She saw the funny side of it.

I'm very inclusive. So sensitive. And a bit deaf it seems.

My bad.

5 comments:

Melzie said...

LOL I clicked off BEFORE I 'got' it and had to come back and reread :) Good for you for taking any and all in stride hehe xoxo melzie

Scott said...

That's funny. I did a similar thing in class once when a teenage boy told me he was "coming out" today. I said that was really brave of him and that he should be proud of who he is. He corrected me, saying that he actually said that he was "going out today"...

Blossom said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

toooo funny!!!

rhubarbwhine said...

Heh ;) Was she single before the pregnacy too?

(Lucky she saw the humour as well...)

Stomper Girl said...

She "didn't like oysters"? That is very, very, funny