Friday, November 20, 2009

Not drowning, waving (again)

Did I say not drowning? Well.... its probably accurate.

I have been watching too much TV, playing way too much Bejewelled on FB, attending work back on the postnatal/antenatal ward and had a random night shift thrown in to the middle of a dayshift fortnight (I know) which has completely thrown my body clock for a loop and I lost close to 2 days in sleep disturbance. Sigh. I'm back on days this weekend for 4 days but then I have a week of rostered days off, before working for 4 days then having 15 days on hols before Xmas. Woot! I love to be back on the ward with all the darling staff members I was mentored by when I was a student. I am also working with my own mentee, which is a lovely change as our rotations have not coincided frequently at all and it is good to see her functioning clinically, even though our relationship flourishes mostly outside the workplace. She is so bright and buzzy, a real individual.

The workload is as full-on as usual, challenging physically and emotionally as well as an organisational challenge. To top it off the ward has been renovated since I was last there, so nothing is where I expect it to be. I am being a big girl and sucking it up. I'm just very lucky, I repeat to myself. But it does make me think of how different things might be in a year's time, in a different style of care. I am scared. But I am determined. Why does it matter to me what people think? I have good reasons for taking the path less travelled, and everyone I have mentioned it to seems to think it is an excellent move, but I suppose I must suck it and see. It may not be for me. I will be quite happy being a plain midwife out there, but how big will my envelope be? How far will I push it? There will be stuff I can only learn out there. I am not fearless, but nor am I fearful. I have a very healthy respect for the process, and the risks. I must keep my clinical judgement about me and distinguish between space for evolution and recklessness. There's a lot going on in my brain. But in the end - Megan says it well here.

I also saw New Moon on Thursday morning bright and early - its not bad, I found it very absorbing and the performances were much better this time, with less of the trembly, changing half-formed mouth movements from Kirsten Stewart that gave me the pip the first time around. She really is much better this time around, more natural. Its certainly one for the fans, but it ends a bit suddenly! There is almost the case for editing books two and three together to shift the action along, but it was still satisfying and beautifully done. The three leads were less wooden +/- overacting. The Jacob character was good and well performed. There were funny bits. The Edward character was much better made up although for a perpetual 17 y.o. someone carved from marble-like perfection he somehow looks haggard and older and a lot more manly, which was very appealing. Am I an Edward or a Jacob girl? Hmm, I think I prefer manly, but a bit of exuberant animal buff is good. The rest of the Cullen clan could have done their shots in less than a week, apart from Alice. Thinking back, they are mostly only shown in asembled set shots, with little dialogue. All in all 8/10.

Today I have a lunch with fellow midwives before the long awaited head MRI to see if there is any sinister reason for the dizzies - we suspect not, but lets rule it out. The medication is really helping and they are 90-95% gone. Edited to add - I'd forgotten how LOUD those MRIs are! Even with earphones it was like having my head trapped inside the DJ desk at a really bad alien robot techno rave, with error messages going off. Geez! 20 minutes of it!

The Big Picture tour by a Canberra ACM staff member, Abby, is going really well. She is such a dynamic presenter, and has been really flexible and super-organised and great fun as well. It is half over now, and this time next week will be all over, but it was well worth the effort. We had lunch yesterday, and she is tired but happy so far, and on days off now down south with her family. I look forward to next week.

So, I wish I had some new craft to show you, but I don't. I c.b.a. (can't be arsed) getting the camera from the other room to even show you a pic of the gorgeous Abby from Canberra. I have no excuses, I just know that if I left the computer now something bright and shiny and completely unecessarily random would catch my eye and it would be 3 o'clock before I remembered the unpublished post on the, really, we'd better play it safe and hit publish now. Yes, really.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Bag lady

Well, the Stuff continues to loom, but I had a rare weekend+ off so it felt right to do some craft.

On Friday I took myself over to Lesley's place and sat companionably with her as she pottered and planned another papercut, and I got stuck in to assembling a bag I had cut out last week. It is from a pattern by Kathy at Pink Chalk Studio, called the Mail Sack.
The base is a wool/silk mix that I got in an op shop somewhere for about $1, and the top part is a vibrant purple linen from a recycled skirt. It is designed to sit scross the body. Whaddya think? I tried to get photos of it on me, but sigh, no. Trust me, I'm sparing you. I haven't decided yet where it will go. It may go in 'the shop'. Or it may be a pressie. I had so many buttons to choose from for the flower, but Steff liked this quirky cow button, so we went with that.

On Saturday hubby and I headed to the city for an impromptu grown-up getaway. I feel like I haven't seen him for a month! It was lovely, away from the phones and the emails and the Stuff.
We went out for dinner (Globe, at the Hilton, mostly wonderful, and the good bits were Incredibly Good) and breakfast (King St Cafe, really good) and had a wander around this developing part of the city and just enjoyed ourselves in general. Comfy room, soft sheets. Exactly what we needed.

On Sunday when we returned I felt like tackling a smallish craft project, that I asked Les about on Friday. She had re-lined a bag that was shabby, or yukky, and I had a lovely bag that had frayed lining. See? It is as an Olga Berg that I bought about 3 years ago, but the original lining was shabby. So I gutted it. The pink bit here is the external zipped pocketliner that was not frayed.

Then, using the old lining as a guide I cut a new liner with a pocket, and reused the zipper for a new pocket, and reused the darted pocket opposite.
Then I hand stitched the new lining in place.
Et voila! One refurbished bag!
I have one more day off now, which is filling up quick, so I'd better fly!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


HI!! Can you see me waving? I am.

Hello November! Where did you come from? I blinked and you arrived, while I was working and organising and conferencing and feeling crappy and stressed and finishing night shift. And getting bad feelings about anonymous comments. Sigh.

Sometimes a blog just feels like another thing to feel guilty about. So I put the blog in the too hard basket. Just for a couple of weeks.

To make myself feel better I am crafting (or half-assed-crafting). I am cutting out. I have sewn some stuff. Half-finished things. Frogdancer and Victoria your pressies are nearly ready to go. I have a pretty fab red giant tote half assembled.

Blogs are being read. Otherwise they would Pile Up and add to my load of Stuff Un-done.

I have folded an enormous pile of clean washing. Six baskets full.

I have cleaned off my desk. Gasp. Its true, Lesley has seen it!

I have Made Plans. Midwifery plans. Hah! I am both inspired and a bit terrified by this. Therefore it must be good.

I am working (what seems like) a lot. Probably seems like it because I have so much to do on the days 'off'. Like conferences. Like organising a two week statewide tour for a lovely and important guest, although I am getting lots more help with that now, phew.

I have favourite people coming to WA (ooh, they've just landed), and a favourite niece having a party tonight for her birthday and I am working :( but I will have the next two weekends off and see them all then.

On the upside- a friend has started an unexpected new romance that is thrilling and wonderful and that she thoroughly deserves. And my daughter has found a JOB! It is 95% fabulous, with small forecasts of glass-half-empty, depending on your point of view. We're pretty delighted, but it also involves the doing of Stuff. Which I add to my Do In My Spare Time list. You know the one.

I am feeling about 50% better in the swoon department, although I have to go back on a medication I hoped to not take. It seems this is a new manifestation of migraine. Cos two sorts are barely enough. Bummer. On the upside it means I am sleeping better / heavily. Take THAT night shift diurnal rythm messer uperer.

I'll stop whining now. I'm sick of myself.

Back with REAL blogging soon, I promise. But that was a small catchup of why I've been offline.

You'll never get those minutes of your life back, so no asking for a refund, alright?