The whirlwind returns- now with photos

I'm back!

I feel like that's been the opening line for a number of posts this year. No, I'm not going to check.

The conference was great! It was a co-badged event with the Australian College of Midwives, The Royal Australian College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists and the Australian College of Rural and Remote Medicine. There were guest speakers from Canada and the USA, and all over Australia. There were some ugly, shameful statistics and some stories of hope and inspiration. Most of all there were stories that traced the pattern of the erosion of normal birth, and these are steps that can be reversed to a large extent to reduce the interventions in normal birth, reclaim the skills that have been lost (i.e. vaginal breech birth) as a result of overestimation of risk and to increase 'parturient autonomy'. This will also free up midwives to practise more fully with women within the full scope of their skills that they already have. We heard the terms VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean), NBAC (next birth after caesarean) and GBAC (Give Birth A Chance!!), industrialised birth, and in an hilarious debate heard an obstetrician challenge anyone to approach a woman labouring on all fours (as her pelvis would dictate) and to perform a CS 'doggie style'. Ah, it was an earthy crowd! (BTW, I have no idea who that fat chick is on the right wearing my clothes).

The Gold Coast of Queensland is an area I have never been to before, but it has a lot to offer. I was picked up by my dear friend Kate (who was married on the beach in March) and we drove back into northern NSW to see her little town where she started work this week. What a lovely spot. She and her husband have just bought a beautiful property backing onto two national forests and plan to birth their first child at home on the property in March next year. Kate has just started to 'pop' - so exciting- can you see the bump? After a bit of lunch we headed back over the border and checked into the hotel and had a nanna nap. Then off to the reception and opening speeches which really set the scene well for the next few days.
We ate well, especially the conference dinner on Friday night sponsored by the Northern Territory crowd which featured Darwin market food - such delicious variety! Asian influenced, bush tucker, kangaroo and emu, oysters, limes, fish, absolutely fanastic food. The hotel was good, and catered well for milling crowds of midwives and others without long queues. It was really great to get a chance to meet others from my state and elsewhere, and share info from the concurrent sessions that we had attended. The program was really well organised, not a dud among them. A great success. I even put my plump toes into the Pacific Ocean at dusk on the last night, and collected some tiny rocks and shells for my collection. So Natalie, if you go and have a toe-dip in a few weeks time - we'll be sharing wading water!

On Sunday I headed to the airport for the trip to Melbourne to see my niece perform for her graduation concert. She was really lovely, and in good company. There were 14 dancers graduating and each was featured in various ways and within larger ensembles. Without bias I can say she was in the top group of performers that night. She certainly deserves good things to come her way. I hung out with my sister, niece and Mum and because accomodation was a bit squashy I lobbed in with another niece for the night, so got to see her, her partner, and her sister and husband (the Melbourne wedding of March this year) for brekky the next morning. What a gorgeous group of young people they are! SO interesting. They all went off to work and I returned to my sister's place for the day.

We went to see Wall-E which I had been looking forward to for ages. I confess I was slightly disappointed. I got the concept from the start, but found the rest of it predictable. I laughed out loud at some bits. I was touched, but not deeply moved as I had expected to be from the hype. There was nothing terrible about it, it just didn't rock my world as I had expected. Palpable waves of boredom from the seats alongside probably didn't enhance my aesthetic experience. I think the rest of the party were annoyed for having been persuaded by me to go! Sigh. Choosing a film is such a responsibility!

The last leg of my jaunt was to get to the airport early - never usually a priority for me. Why? WHY? To have my first blogmeet! It was so exciting! How would I recognise them? I had seen a few photos of Frogdancer, but never one of Widget (deliberately). But having spoken on the phone to Froggie a few times I was quite sure I would know that voice anywhere! And I knew she would be carrying a bag containing a QIP (a Quilt in Progress). So I was looking for a shortish woman, carrying a bag, talking a blue-streak with a woman who looked like a 'thirty-something' blogger who could be a music teacher. I look pretty much the same as my photo up in the corner. And I had texted them to tell them where I was sitting. But I spotted them first! (I think).

It was like meeting old friends, in many respects, except I had 'forgotten' what their faces looked like. I won't again. We had a really easy time together, within the culinary confines of the airport, although we didn't have to resort to Hungry Jacks (phew). We discussed the pros and cons of Pierce Brosnan vs Daniel Craig as 007 (verdict: neither would be turfed out of boudoirs), mutually confessed our mucousy reactions to the deaths in the last 2 Harry Potter books (it was all too close to the surface for, ahem, some of us) and talked employment history and how nannying really is a rehearsal for teaching.

But the piece-de-resistance was seeing the progress on the quilt. A while back Frogdancer was having a pretty crappy time, so I decided that she needed a quilt and should raid my (considerable) stash and derive some comfort from it. It was such fun putting together the package for her in pinks, greens and neutralsand sadly didn't even make a dent in the stash, but I can now reveal the result! Its just lovely. So beautiful. From 66 different fabrics for scrappy quilt, Froggie has produced this. Tah-dah! Take a bow Froggie! She's done a wonderful job with it all, and there was enough fabric leftover to make a potholder for Widget and me as little side presents. I'll treasure it - and its not going NEAR a pot I can tell you! These are Widget's hands displaying pressies, with her rings removed for de-identifying purposes. I gave them each a tiny bracelet with red and green beads with butterflies, and I have one too. We're a team!Widget takes her anonymity seriously! But will see me in Perth again in December when she is in WA for a holiday. Woo-hoo! Next blogmeet my place! I was a bit self-conscious at first, but my plane was delayed and it was just as well - we got on so well we could have talked for ages! It was really nice to meet them both - I wish Froggie had been able to bring her boys too! Isn't the internet an amazing medium?
So here I am, back at home and loving it as I have a week off work now. And a daughter home to keep me company (I didn't plan for that). I did have plans for creating and crafting in my jammies all day, but its Wednesday already and we have appointments together and .... rats. I'm still catching up on all the bloglines to read (208 on return - yikes!) Still I will definitely be making more Wild Women brooches for upcoming birthdays and the like, and if I could just get Blogger to cooperate with uploading photos (3 tries with no luck) I would be well happy. We did a bit of craft together yesterday, and I plan more today. Its good for both of us.

The news on baby JJ is that he has been moved to the children's hospital and is not fabulous. I will probably see them this week too. I am their midwife, and want to see this through.

Must dash! Please de-lurk and leave a comment and say hi, and maybe where you are from! Its the nearest I can come to putting the kettle on!

Have a good week!

Picture diary

Thanks for the comments. I read and appreciate every one. When I asked if anyone was still there it meant I hoped you hadn't stopped visiting because there was nothing new to read! I must say since I started using bloglines my blog reading has been greatly simplified. Instead of rabidly going to every site just in case I missed something new, now I can see instantly who has posted and I can relax about all the rest. I am spending less time on the computer, but am still in touch and up-to-date. Phew.

Which leaves more time for sewing!!!! I have been going a bit mad lately and loving it!

OK I promised photos. First - from my birthday. Here is the cake. Black Forest Cake. YUM.

And my oldest friend called late in the day and came by to join us for dinner. We hardly ever get to see each other any more - she lives an hour or so away and now I work shifts with less holidays its too easy to let time slip by. But we manage 1-2 visits per year and it is always such a hoot to see her.

We met when she moved to our area at the start of year 5. For the only time in my childhood or since I was picked to choose a softball team. Such a responsibility! I was always picked last so I knew the anguish of waiting to hear your name spoken. So I chose all the kids who usually waited and waited, including all the interesting kids who were new or who had accents or different coloured skins. It is a decision I have never regretted, least of all because it brought Bobbie into my life. We were inseparable from that moment on. It still feels like that. Can you tell?

I was her bridesmaid at her first wedding. The first quilts I owned were made by her for each of my children - I still have them and treasure them. She is such an inspiration to me. She went back to uni to complete her high school, and became an environmental scientist. She is a grandmother now, and still her own self. I just love her. It was so good to see her.

Here is a very bad shot of the Michael Buble concert, which is badly out of focus but conveys something of the atmosphere. Jeez it was a great concert.

Here is a quick excited photo of my sister and I in the audience. Even though its crooked, I like this shot. She is not usually so pale, she's been unwell. Yep, that is the favourite pink cardigan of the moment getting another outing!

Something else exciting happened last week. I received my labels. See? Its a name that a family friend used to call me (my family call me by my middle name) I accidentally ordered iron-on ones (sigh) which don't necessarily suit every fabric I use to make a bag, but they still look very satisfying to have on my products. Even if sewn a little rustically.

Speaking of rustic, here is the bag I just had to make on Friday instead of doing housework (I don't recall making an active choice - was the housework ever a realistic option? ;P )

I had found the orange embroidered jeans in a favourite op-shop on Thursday. They fitted Steff but she felt she wouldn't wear them. Ditto the black chunky cord Diesel jeans we had found a few weeks ago. So....she requested a shopping bag. Et voila!

I was very brave and even put in an internal zipped pocket - my first time - piece of cake. Everything on this bag was chosen for recycledness (is that a word?). The outer fabric, the lining fabrics, the zip, everything had been used before. I'm really pleased with it. It wears my label outside and hers inside!

Which brings me to the weekend....sigh. It was an oasis. I took a healing doll that I had started back in February sometime, that I got stuck on. It was meant to be my inner child, but she looked so vulnerable that I just couldn't move forward with her alone. She needed longer arms to reach out to people. I was a long lanky kid (snort), and while the hair colour was about right, and she had big brown eyes I felt stuck. I knew that if I took her with me to a safe place she would be able to evolve into herself.

We chose messages from a set that spoke to us. Mine were about not believing and living old, negative messages, and how I could create new beliefs about myself, about how I am alright NOW. These tapped into some thought patterns I needed to change. Remember don't believe everything you think ..... So I set to work.

We learned about the orphan archetype and the pros and cons of examining the orphan within us all. We heard the story of "the Ugly Duckling". We journalled. The opening sentence was "I want..." A very powerful tool. We danced through a guided meditation through a four part garden with gates dividing the areas. We experienced the long hard winter that precedes transformation and growth. Rocks for grief, sticks for anger, water for despair, and sand for feeling depleted. We then went for a silent meditative walk about the bush. It was the winter solstice and people all over the world were also engaging in that exercise simultaneously. We were encouraged to see if anything called to us on our nature walk and to collect them for inclusion in our dolls or journalling. The sticks of anger had called me during the meditation. It was time to examine their purpose.

The other women had mostly not made the dolls before and we all had kits in front of us for a new doll. So did I. So I made a new one as well as working on my inner child doll. She had come with me as plain Jane. I was called that a lot as a child. This weekend I made her/myself blossom.

I used the sturdy sticks I collected to first of all give plain Jane a backbone. Next I entwined some curved sticks to her to give her longer arms to reach out for help and comfort. Next she needed to stand taller, so some very strong branches were bound to her short legs. These new limbs were bound in a tartan that reminded me of the little tartan pinafores I wore as a child - with a plain cotton top and a beautiful pleated skirt. They were worn with a pretty white blouse and a cardigan over the top. My new doll seemed more confident already. She had been mousy and brown before, and I look hideous in brown. She wasn't happy being brown. As the dove-grey and green tartan strengthened her she seemed happier. Suddenly I knew she needed more green. A scrap of sequinned green spoke to me. I bound this across her heart. There were some leaves that filled a gap or two, then she sighed contentedly. At last, you are getting to the heart of me. Returning to the treasure chest I found a small sculpted baby, painted gold. This touched a very deep chord. The little one was immediately tucked next to her heart. Scraps of green gingham, more layers of beautiful dyed green cotton with leaf prints, a few more sequins, a tie or two, more hair, a flower for blossoming happiness, a jewel or two, a few pearls, following our instincts. Then someone brought me an amazing gift. There, in a small velvet covered matchbox, was a tiny baby with a message in the box that read "I love you just the way you are". It was just the message she/we needed to hear. She held a stick to acknowledge the rage at her mistreatment, but it was softened by a growth of green, as she didn't want it to define her. It now looks like a wand to achieve transformation. A friend across the table said, you realize, don't you, that she is Mother Earth. A bell rang somewhere. Many people call me an Earth Mother midwife. Others have called me a Demeter figure. But of course. My inner child had blossomed into a manifestation of something that feels very natural to me. An earth mother. I was profoundly moved by the whole experience and can barely take my eyes off her. She is just right. I had never imagined that I would create something as beautiful as she is. As green as she is. But she is "No More Plain Jane" now. And I love her just the way she is.

The white doll I am holding is my midwife warrior I made in the first healing doll workshop I attended. She is full of symbolism and has a long story too. Her new red sister is also related to the meditation. She is a goddess of rage, who trails her anger behind her and has no problem expressing it. I think her story is one for another day....

Here is our group with their dolls at the end of the weekend. We all found it a very powerful and symbolic exercise, an oasis in our busy lives as mothers of children with special needs, some bereaved mothers. We had danced, including a belly dancing session, journalled, ate great food, talked, laughed, cried, discovered, meditated, slept and relaxed and shared an incredibly intimate weekend.

I am very lucky to have access to this type of workshop. It is a lifeline for me, a tool to have an inner life that allows my inside to match my outside. This doll making is a stunning exercise when taken as a whole 30 hour journey in a supported psychotherapeutic environment with trusted friends. And now I entrust the sharing of it with you, dear reader.

Peace and love.

Game queen and random clouds.

You may not remember this post. But I have just reached a new highest score of 44! Previous best - 8!

I started on Twiddletails (link on right) and clicked and clicked 'next blog'. I saw a dozen or more languages - warning - I passed through a pretty strange and graphic Indian adult site (although all featured normal looking women I must add), and finally met my match after a Czech site (how do you spell that?).

Anyway...I remain the queen of my weird little game. Feel free to clear your throat and wonder what planet I am on. I won't hear you.

You may have noticed that this is the third in a series of short, random little posts. Sorry... feeling observed and hassled when spending time on the computer lately...its a bit inhibiting. I toss and turn at night and think of work, blogging, stresses and strains, being in pain from getting old, my to-do list, cutting roses for the Mums I will see on Mother's Day (but sadly not mine!) ...many random things. Plus its been a bit hot at night. Maybe its menopause. Sigh.

Would you like to see some beautiful clouds I snapped a few weeks ago? Here...

Gorgeous huh? I have no idea if it will go bigger if you hover on it, but you can try.

The meaningful midwifery-related posts will return when I have my next day off. Its been an interesting week. I'm learning (and remembering) heaps.

Happy Mother's Day to all, especially those who are less remembered and spoilt than others, but who deserve to be just the same. You know who you are.

I'm baaaack

Home again at last!

What a trip, so much to tell you, I have thousands of posts swirling in my head, but most of all it is great to be home!

The (third) wedding was gorgeous. Our niece Shaku, along with her husband Martin, looked so elegant, and the location was fantastic again - in the Yarra Valley outside of Melbourne, on a vineyard overlooking the valley and peaks. Cocktails before, a fabulous dinner afterwards where, to save decision making, a platter of each choice on the menu was brought to the tables for sharing, great local food, beautifully cooked. Lovely wine. Lots of photos. Here's the red dress in all its glory! (I'm sure I felt much taller and thinner then I look here).

The best wedding speeches you have ever heard, funny, warm, inclusive, well balanced. Friends and family from all over the world. The bridal party was scattered among all the tables, and we happened to be at the table with the bride and groom. Just a beautiful night.

This is the ring-bearer (age 3) comparing his foot size with my son. Little Xavier's foot was as long as Patty's was wide. They both thought it was pretty funny! It was hard to get them in the same shot!

Shaku wore a simple white satin gown, no beading, just a shaped bodice and a fitted, curvaceous sheath with a mermaid-y tail. Drop-dead earrings. A large bunch of dazzling yellow roses and a diamante clip in her rolled up hair. Divine.

We stayed on a property outside of Healesville with a mountain view, where stunning parrots abounded, and so did the kangaroos! They were hopping all over the place at night.There was another two days of eating and drinking with family in 2 large well appointed houses, sitting around the fire, laughing like drains at all manner of inappropriate things and loving it! Stephanie had a birthday (19th) while we were there, so it was great for her to be with these cousins (the two young women front centre) for her birthday, as she hardly ever gets to see them as they live in Melbourne now. They were in on the iPod secret (her present) so gave her an iPod tunes voucher. She was pretty happy!

We also went to Healesville Wildlife Sanctuary on the Saturday, which was really worthwhile. These are the dingoes (Australian Native dogs)They had a fantastic "Flight of the Parrots" show and a Raptor display with close-up views of beautiful and magnificent birds from the local areas, including a wedge-tail eagle as big as a dog - it looked much more impressive when flying! Plus a platypus breeding environment. Wow. There was also a working animal rescue hospital with well thought out displays and close-circuit TV of the examination table so you could see the action!

On Sunday, after a lavish breakfast for 16 (so. much. food) we drove into Melbourne and joined my sister Rynny for the afternoon. Patty had gone in to see his mate Dougal the day before, and we met him too. After an early dinner Don, Patty and Steff took off in the hire car for the airport, and left me in Melbourne for a week with my sister!!!

Girls on the town....look out!! Well, girls in their forties, with bad backs, and round tummies...but you get the picture! Aren't street silhouettes kind?

We shopped, and walked, and shopped, and went to see "Priscilla - Queen of the Desert" and ate, and shopped, and went to the movies, including Gold Class (The Other Boleyn Girl), ate and then we went up to see a midwife friend of mine, Jo, living in the country outside of Ballarat.

We set off as a big storm approached Melbourne and drove into it. It was pretty wild and we were going a very long way - over 200kms. It took us just under 3 hours, and then we were there! In a blackout with no power and no water (no power to run the pumps). Just a warm welcome from Jo and her three adorable kids (nr 6, nr 4 and 1). Lucky we'd stopped and brought a couple of cooked chooks with us! Wish we'd thought to buy candles!

Still, there was very little distraction from the joy of just hanging out with friends and their two new kittens, and seven new hatched chickens, and 363 sheep! We adjourned to our (adjacent spare) farmhouse for dinner on the gas stove before returning to Jo's house post-dinner in the dark with a few birthday candles and telling of tales. It was the first time Jo and Rynny had met and they got on really well. Rynny loved the whole family, and she is great with kids and kittens. She was always terrific with my kids when they were small. I think Jo liked the company too, she has a lot of family close by, but it was really special to see her. It will be a long time til we meet again I suspect.

Her youngest child Thomas was caught by me, and he is the most beautiful child, just such a rewarding baby to have. Nearly always smiling, engaging, active, walking! Such a privilege to be a midwife to a friend. An unexpected joy to share such a close bond between us. Jo and I worked together for around 4 months, and I was touched that she stated very early on with Thomas's pregnancy that she wanted me to deliver him. I was a student midwife, only half-way through, but catch number 16 was really special for me. You've seen them before here (at the end of the link).

I made Jo a bag (natch) which she was delighted with. See? The flower is her (just right) finishing touch. The internal pockets fitted her stuff in perfectly, including Thom Kitten's bottle!

After a night spent in a very dark farmhouse (the power came on at 2am) with a pesky mouse (that met its maker in the night) we woke to load sheep for a new owner - wow - how interesting to see a working farm and woolshed and sheepdog! The kids were great and all helped shoo the sheep from pen to pen, while Thom slept. We had a walk and maintained the fences as we went to close and open various gates for the next lot of sheep. It rained and the wind was pretty cold too, but there was the most AMAZING rainbow!

Anyway, I'd better get this photo'd up and posted, or you'll think I've run away and left you all. I've figured out a way to get my camera to take smaller photos (AFTER the wedding) - so it shouldn't take so long, but I think Blogger has just stopped uploading the first lot when i chose the second lot...oh, woe is me...

I promise to write more about midwifery next time...I've been thinking a lot, and had some interesting women in my care on the ward while on night shift, and today I was sent to labour ward as a fill-in midwife. I looked after a couple who had lost their daughter to a congenital malformation a few days earlier...it was a tough day in many respects, but they were in reasonable spirits when they left.... it was a nice surprise to be on LBS after a month or so away, one of the benefits of working as a rotational midwife. I start on the visiting midwife service next week. I'm looking forward to working in the community again. I've had an offer of more work today in the perinatal loss area...I'll give it some thought.

Thanks for visiting, I'll try and visit y'all too, if you let me know you dropped by! Til next time.